Probably the one emotion I’m most vulnerable to. It’s seriously paralyzing me. So here I am. Sipping my second cup of hot coffee, at 4:34 PM on an overcast and windy day here in the desert. It’s nicer than it sounds. I have to go into work in about 16 minutes. God this sucks. Just acting like everything is okay. When it’s not. You put on a mask. A mask that says, hello world, I’m perfectly fine in this moment. Every customer that comes in to my job, buying and inquiring about furniture to make their carcinogen-based hut slightly more aesthetically appealing and/or comfortable. Or complaining about how some progresso canned soup is $1.25 at our store and $1.00 at some other store. Seriously? Fucking go there then, if it’s cheaper there. This next week will undoubtedly be a very important week of my life. And I guess that scares me. I’m so used to being [mostly] detached and not really giving a shit about anything aside from my relationship and my family. I rarely fear for myself but in this case I do. And it’s such an uncommon feeling for me so when I do feel it, it freaks me the fuck out. I guess that’s all I have to say.